


A dwarven Lovesickness

by ScotCoyjedii



Series: Hobbiton x Dwarves [3]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Belladonna Baggins II, Dwarven true love, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-16
Updated: 2015-03-16
Packaged: 2018-03-17 05:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3516587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScotCoyjedii/pseuds/ScotCoyjedii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A young Hobbit Lass was kidnapped by a lusty elf who got himself killed by stupidity and orcs. she finds herself undeniably lost without a map she has no sense of direction just of survival. Until she comes across a strange group of dwarrows who tell her where she's at. Maybe she should have listened to her fathers stories like her brother did? Probably.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A dwarven Lovesickness

**Author's Note:**

> One shot....no doubt this popped into my head today (laughs ) oooo im going to enjoy this. I'm just gong to say that i keep thinking Thorin III is Ironfoot so mind that ...its an war earned name well i'm just going to innuendo that its a last name.

Belladonna Baggins laughed at danger one too many times to bother with her kidnapper the lusty elf who stole her away from her home who was now dead somehow she found his death amusing only because he was too stupid to realize the classic trap ambush scenario which was laid out right before him. 

"Dumbass, you got dead for your efforts at least your pack at least arms me as well as your dagger the elvish sword might be too big but i can trade it to to someone for supplies," Shouldered the pack heading off into the unknown without a map unfortunately she had no idea how to get home she managed to survive wandering about eventually making it past mirkwood for some odd reason I didn't find King Thranduil anything but awesome in his mightie throne.

"You aren't answering my questions halfling."

"Wha?"

"I was too busy admiring your elven throne made from those elk you raise antlers,"

"How..."

"I think it suits you fine it fits your personality very well,"

"Was that a compliment..."

"No one ever dared complimented him before after we took them to his majesty..."

"Must be a hobbit trait..."

"I tells zee truth, The crown makes you look even more so frightening to others I think it makes you look regal and domineering as it should be shouldn't it?"

"Wow,"

"She does it again, no fear."

"It screams elven the same could be said for the architecture around in your halls its completely different than the one in Rivendell,"

"You speak fondly elves,"

"Minus the elf who kidnapped me don't remember his name i think he was alone then again it doesn't take much for a hobbit to be carried off by some of your bigfolk we are very small compared to you though don't say that to any hobbit other than me I really don't care. I find it amusing that Hobbit's can be offended by being called halflings, its a source of good humor."

"K...kidnapped?"

"No map no idea where i am other than in Mirkwood kind of hard to find a map when i can't read a map."

"You are a lighter voiced Hobbit than most."

"If life is so very short why should I take it seriously? I can't even take my extended family members seriously what make's you think I'm going to take life seriously?" I joked.

"... interesting point of view."

*****

Getting away from it all wasn't exactly my idea of having fun though i was enjoying the laughs along the way he pointed the way to Dale which i headed towards cause it was close enough too. Maybe i could find out which way the shire was from there?  
Soon enough I was at the Gates and somehow managing to being drawn towards Erebor, mainly to look at the very tall statues of dwarrows made from stone _how in the name of Valar did they manage to do that?_ I thought to myself.  
I was just looking up in wonder next thing I know a guard tells me to beat it.  
"Lass ye better state yer business here or get a move on."  
"Get a move on what? Can't i just admire handiwork of dwarrows who built these statues?"  
"there is a caravan comin lass ye might get trampled."  
"I have been through worse. why so serious?"  
"I'm on duty lass that's why, i like my job."  
"Gimli right?" I turned seeing face i remember seeing in a painting replica that da made of Gloín and his family.  
"How'd you know me?"  
"Da often said that your dad talked about you often on the quest,"  
"Who is your dad?"  
"Don't you know, i think its farely obvious." I joked my brow furrowing.  
"No,"  
"Bilbo Baggins." In Erebor she was taken to king under the mountain Thorin Oakensheild who was listening to his counsel who was annoying the crap out him and generally starting to piss him off.

"I can see where this is going lets see who can annoy the king first with their bad advice first and kisses up to king like stupid idiot."

"Who is the halfling," a dwarf lord asked.

"They aren't half of anything you bastard Bilbo saved our lives!!!!" The Princes Fili and Kili roared standing up. She laughed like it was the best thing ever.\"ooo this is going to be _good_ , better than watching my mother and father getting into a shouting match with Lobelia and Lotho Sackville-Baggins. This is the best day of my life I swears it."

"I think the halfling is deranged." another lords wife sniffed sourly "I think you might have dropped on your head if we are going to argue the amusing realities of watching you guys debate its far better than anything I have seen so far from the Sackville-Baggins and Lotho's brat Samwise."

"You find this amusing?"A lord was sickened by this display

"I find this hilarious not as fun as beating Samwise Sackville-Baggins with a cast iron skillet after peeping on me though..."she brushed away tears formed while laughing. "Yup he deserved it." She said with a a straight face.

"Are you sure your related to Bilbo?"Bofur asked.

"Yes my brother acts all like a _Proper_ Hobbit should. Meh, not my thing I kind of enjoyed beating up my kidnapper though even if he didn't even fall unconscious when i hit him over the head with a cast iron skillet."

"What elf?" Thorin's head snapped in her dirrection

"No need to worry he got dead, i told him don't go down in the ravine. _'its obviously a trap it puts you at a disadvantage and we aren't far from the orc caverns'_ but _noooo_ don't listen to easily amused and hyper Hobbit lass who might know what she's talking about. For that he got killed by orcs."

"And you weren't scared?"

"I ditched the fool before he got dead i was stuck in a bush for a while before i heard them running off,"

"what kind of bush did you land in?"

"The kind that makes a canines nose screw up or surrounded in the stuff that makes the canine sense of smell useless."

"Lucky."

"I pay attention I'm good with plants and frying pans."

"Can we end this conversation you are starting to annoy me."

"This is the point."

"What?"

"Get out this meeting is adjourned."

"But..."

"OUT!"

"Why are you here so far from the shire?" Thorin asked.

"He kind of took me away, no map and no clue where I am."

"Who is he?"

"Dead. Never really cared to learn his name. Though i did learn a thing or two...apparently no one suspects hand scythes being chain weapons or anything else."

"I thought..."

 

"They never saw it okay maybe a little... okay a lot I have slight anger issues and a case of pyromania."

 

"she talks fast."

 

"I had a coffee on the way here..."

 

"Oh no,"

"This is amusing."

"I'll send a raven to Bilbo in the Shire, he's probably worried sick about you."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he wasn't having a panic attack,"

"Why are you such a tease?"

"Life is short enjoy every moment you got or you'll find yourself as bitter as grumpy cold old King Thranduil, he's not that scary I just imagine him with fluffy bunny ear head band that I use to torment my Cousin Lotho every time he comes over to my da's smial and falls asleep i also draw a mustache on his face just for kicks. The strange thing is I'm only thirty three and I still do that. 'So uncivilized' Lobelia says to me when she found out, she's like a mean old swan or goose they are mean but never plucked good eating though it you don't the business end of a beak in your face."

 

"She's as mean as a swan too." Fili broke out laughing, Thorin barely reigned in a bout of laughter Kili well there was no helping it eventually his laughter escaped him and it filled the Throne room much to Dwalin and Balin's surprise he had been expected to greet Thorin too after the meeting was adjourned. They headed back to their chambers laughing the whole way.

"What's so funny?" Balin asked. Dwalin beside him as well.

"The snow in the tip of an iceburg? A polar bear in a conga line drinking beer? Beer drinking conga line?! oh my."

 

"Beer drinking conga line? where can i find one?" Bofur joked he liked his beer after all.

 

"where their is beer there is a way, okay who wants to see who can out drink who?" Thorin was game as they headed down to a bar to drink themselves stupid, "Consider the drinks on me."

"I cannot..."Thorin sputtered 

"Screw stubborn dwarven honor I'm payin and nothings going to stop me!"

Gloin was surprised to see the king Thorin at the bar a hobbit close behind she seemed giddy with determination as she paid for a large amount of alcohol, "Last one standing wins." She chuckled harshly. "Bottoms up."

One mug down two become three and so on after ten thorin started to slow down she didn't slow down after twenty, "Oh this is fun ain't it?"

"How can you drink that much?"

 

"What haven't you ever out drank a elf before it was farely easy? It was Ga-something or other he has a thing for elven wine i can't stand the stuff too strong for my tastes." "Ha ha!"

 

"Lets see whos going to win?  _ **Master Majestic with awesome beard and lovely hair ooo i just want to touch it... he's so hot! Its the grey hairs among black it make him look so awesome oh what to do what to do when this is all over slow burn or sexual innuendo? "**_ She was speaking in hobbitish for that last part she jokes not realizing that Bilbo taught him hobbitish when he had been half awake talking in his native tongue early in the morning hours of the day too sleepy to realize no one could understand him.

"What?"

"Humus?"

Oh my god i made the king snarf beer!!!!

 "What did you say?"

"You understand hobbitish?"

"Yes bilbo taught it to us."

"Innuendo handsome no majestic dwarven king,"

27 Belladonna - 15 Thorin Oakenshield

"Come on now is that all you got?"

"You made beer come out my nose crazy bitch..."

"Another reason Lobelia hates me. I'm unpredictable."

"Another thing last time Lobelia called me that I ruined another cast iron skillet,"

37-15

"YUp Im gone." Her speech started to slur badly. 

She fell over the chair landing on her comically I think she just wanted to drink hard while she couldn't do that alone at home.

"I have a feeling she's not going to wake up,"

Three days later:

"That was awesome! Bad hangover but totally worth it,"

"Worth it?"

""ello gov'ner wot's it going to be today?"

"Why are you talking like that?"

"Why not?"

"You are the strangest hobbit i ever met."

"The Took is strong in this one." She bowed her grin widdening bowing slightly.

 Winter was here already and she had a rotten plan to make Fili & Kili's day snow included though she was kind of tied up at the moment how did that happen? She was a klutz.

"Eh hem? A little help please?"

"How did you..."

"No  idea, i'm a bit of a klutz too." 

they managed to get her down before she ran off once again looking for trouble it seems that she often found it as she accidently got honey and feathered when it was meant for Fíli & Kíli by Thorin III Ironfoot. she got laughed at before but this was worse she absolutely hated raw pure honey her cousin's in Brandybuck hall and her Tookish cousins did worse but with the black bird feathers made it worse because last time it was chicken feathers and these were raven feathers. _she could almost hear her cousins teasing her relentlessly she was odd even by Tookish standards exceptionally beautiful and intelligent something that wasn't expected of her. "Chicken," "Chick peep peep!" Not necessarily cruel but what happened next was they not only honey and feathered me but later one of the Brandybuck twins shaved my feet while i slept at brandybuck hall one day while visiting. It grew back but they never apologized because i refused to even speak with any of my cousins in brandybuck hall to dishonor a seven year old Lady-Hobbit like that is unthinkable even it it was meant as a joke. I wasn't laughing and I never talked to the twins without having a chilly atmosphere the conversations between us were often forced too. "This isn't funny." "Only because your too nice for your own good ," now its war._   

After getting cleaned up she found out that Thorin III set that up beings now she had a target she could unleash her plot upon him, which may or may not involve glue and his axe. "Eh, i have a problem Óin." Thorin III said coming into his workplace in the Infirmary axe in hand. "What... why are you..." "Oh, your hands have been glued to the axe shaft." Oh boy this is going to be fun as all hell.  

 "Okay who keeps pranking me?!" Thorin III was furious he was drenched in icy cold water from a bucket.  

"Who do you think?"  
"What is a halfling doing here?"  
"This _halfling_ is your worst goddamned nightmare and you never met my tookish or brandybuck cousins so i'll let you know when it comes to pranks i know every one of them."  
a silver ball goes past him hitting a bell that released a very complex mechanism that threw a cast iron skillet from behind at his skull rendering him unconscious.  
"You lose."  
"That was harsh."  
"Last time i was honey'd and feathered it was by the twins who then decided it was a good idea to shave a seven year old hobbit's feet, while she slept."  
"Eh?"  
"It grew back but that's not the point,"  
She took a strip of bacon and left the room.  
"Wow that hurt,"

Le time skip

"You in there Bella?" King Thorin knocked on the door before opening it cautiously.  
"Bells?"  
He read a open letter from someone likely her parents but that wasn't Bilbo handwriting.  
'I understand Bells you can stay at the mountain just as long as you keep those dwarrows in line ;) love you and know that i was joking dearie. Your siblings send their regards and love.'

"So what do you want to talk about?"  
It was the raven Roäc's wife Valkarie.  
"Is it about Lotho again?"  
"No he wanted me to marry his son Olo Sackville-Baggins,"   
"You don't love him."  
"No i don't i ..."  
"What is it?"  
"I love the King Under the Mountain, I don't think he feels the same way."  
"Knowing the king he needs a good lass to baff him on the ears every once and a while."

****  
I don't think anyone saw their relationship growing over the past couple of months into winter it came like a torrent of true happiness she enjoyed a true dwarven wedding. it was the pointed ears. Yup.  
it was a day no one forgot a true dwarven royal wedding that even Bilbo and his family attended ...a truly happy moment ...  
even more so sixteen and counting later.

**Author's Note:**

> I may have been inspired by a fic that I read a while back in the Hobbit fandom (who's name i cannot remember) Bilbo vs Thorin oakenshield...in a drinking contest.


End file.
